Andrew Blanchard
Andrew is a regular member of the Internet Box Podcast. He's known for his beaming red face that shines in the night and being the worlds tallest midget. Andrew has multiple names but the most common are the Red-Faced Fuck, the Jizz Wall Wiper, and MisterSir. He is a sick fuck who loves walls and his long lost love for Patricia. For the past few years Andrew has been wasting his life away chasing Patrica and working at a dead end job, the only thing he has to be proud of is his famous superhero cousin Nighthawk. Skin color Andrew was born with a rare skin disease that makes him a red-faced fuck. The disorder causes his epidermis to be tinted a reddish hue. He is often riduculed for his appearance by other members of the podcast, but has playfully accepted the hatred. Legend says that if you look up into the night sky his face shines like a beacon; that thing you thought was a bright red star is actually Andrew's face. Also with enough concentration has the ability to shake his head violently and turn purple. Personal Life Andrew lives in Iowa on a shitty farm. He lives with his mother who is a cop and is currently investigating the wipes of semen on Andrews favorite wall. Andrew is butthurt about the loss of his relationship with Patricia, causing his fascination with white walls. He was engaged in blowjobbery with the famed Gator , but she didn't have the common courtesy to finish him off. Wall wiping isn't the only strange fetish that Andrew enjoys. He has said that he likes to use his morning wood as a joystick and pretend he is flying in an X-Wing, trying to blow up the Death Star. He has recently explained his non-sexual fetish of seeing girls shoot ping-pong balls out of their vaginas. Employment Andrew formely worked at a Grocery Store with his Patricia but was promoted to a self-serve gas station, as of Episode 16, after his relationship got out of hand with Patricia. He dreams of the day that he can be reunited with his cougar. Wall Fetish Andrew eagerly embraced on Episode 9 that he loves having sex with walls. He eagerly told the story of how he had on many occasions sexual relations with a wall. Some say he got this fetish after having sex with his former lover Patricia, who in the sack is known to be "Like a Wall." Andrew is also known in Mexico as Satisfacer la Pared or The Wall Satisfier. To share his love for cold white walls, he is planning on releasing his own brand of wall paint. Version History After coming to the revelation that he was a racist fuck, he decided to follow the path of Brandon Farmahini and upgrade to Version 2.0. Andrew 2.0 The improvment from 1.0 to 2.0 is he obtained the illusion that he isn't racist, even though it became worse. Andrew 3.0 In this improvement he went from 2.0 to 3.0 where the new feature was the ability to exercise through walking. He burns approximently 45 calories between each podcast. Has said that he will only watch Brunette or Asian porn. Andrew 4.0 In this he erupts to his most current form where he has sex with whales. He makes porn with Asian babies in the middle of the ocean, while using whales as lube. Andrew 5.0 In this improvement he went from 4.0 to 5.0 where he now makes fun of retards.... Ev-ery Day. Category:Maine 7